I wanted to share a bit from our personal adoption blog. I had written awhile ago about the ride of adoption and how I often equate it to riding a roller coaster …. From our blog, “Often when I get a home study approved for a family I ask them if they are ready for the roller coaster ride. Many times I get a chuckle from them and then they realize that I am not chuckling and quite possibly I am being serious about this description. In my opinion it is the best way to describe what it feels like. You head up the hill, anxiously anticipating the top, where you know you will “fall” and in some type of delight enjoy this craziness. Then, you reach the bottom where the thrill has ended, and feel so low and kind of want to go back up the hill, but kind of just want to get off of the ride. Oh the little hills are fun, and don’t bring as much angst, how fun it is to just have some little hills along the way. But then that big hill is coming again, am I excited or terrified? The first hill was fun, but this hill (and subsequent ones after it) brings the knowledge that the first hill had its disappointments … so do I really want to go up a hill again?”
We have had some amazing news over the months of our adoption journey. So many ways God has showered His blessings on us, and so many ways that we have had to wait in the “lull” to see what He will do next. My pastor shared yesterday about Habakkuk and his crying to the Lord in Habakkuk 1:2-4
2 How long, Lord, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not save?
3 Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds.
4 Therefore the law is paralyzed,
and justice never prevails.
The wicked hem in the righteous,
so that justice is perverted.
Oh how often I have felt this same cry to our Lord. What is the answer and are you ever going to reveal it to me? Oh Lord I love you so much, but when will we see what you are doing? I was challenged once again with this … When you have questions will you trust that God knows what He is doing? Do I trust even when I don’t understand why things have to happen the way they do? I am so glad that I have a Lord that hears my cry, but I also have The One that holds me in His arms while I cry out to Him on this ride. I am ever so grateful for Him, and the knowledge that He is doing a work that I cannot see and He has it all figured out!