The new year is bringing with it a big stack of paperwork, a long list of tasks to accomplish and a really full heart of hope.  We are actively working to bring a child home this year.  Maybe we will even get her here before we ring in 2014….who knows.  It will be a big year, for sure. Many years I have prayed for, dreamed for, asked for a chance to adopt again….I can’t believe this is the year it is happening!  

I wasn’t prepared for how humbling it would feel again.  I think you forget each time, much like the amnesia of labor and delivery.  I was walking the halls of my kids’ school today at 3:10pm, hunting down their teachers.  I had to ask each teacher if they would write a reference letter for us, on behalf of their student/our child, so that we could be considered worthy of adopting.  It is so humbling to ask people to do this!  “Please, Mr. so and so…..say nice things about us that tell some random authority that we are fit to bring a child to our home”….oh, and please have the letter typed and notorized and mail it directly to Oregon.  jeesh.  

It is also humbling, when we start wading through the stack of paperwork, knowing this is just the tip of the ice berg of forms and documents….and the anxiety it causes already!  When I see the breakdown of steps and how long each should/can take…..when I think in terms of months and years, rather than days and weeks…..I have to swallow hard and really focus in order to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith.  Most humbly of all, is the quiet moments of prayer, when I check in with God and remind him of all the stuff I’m worried about.  In that moment comes the most confident, quiet, still authority I have ever known…..and he isn’t telling us to stop.  I can feel him present, listening, watching….and he doesn’t seem worried a bit.