Sometimes on this journey of adoption you come to a place where you realize that you have a choice to make. Adoption is never a guarantee and children, orphans, are not ‘ours’ even when they don’t have a mom and dad to raise them and it seems we would be the perfect fit for them. That is one of the hard things about this process. If a child has a need … why oh why can’t we fill that need? Why does the path need to change when we are confident that there are children in need in the country we are pursuing?
I was talking with another adoptive family yesterday about these times when we have to accept a closed door, even though it seems we could continue on but are confident that continuing on will not result in being able to be a family for a child. How hard do we fight for something that it seems is never going to happen? I would rather have God send a huge memo down telling me the door is closed. Instead we have to use the wisdom that I know He has granted us in this to make this hard choice. When it is time to go a new direction how do we do make that final call? So hard … I wish we didn’t have to be ones in this place. I know that God has called us to this, and I know that He will reveal His path for us. But for now, it is hard and honestly a bit defeating to know that this is a door we will not walk through. However, we do trust that He has a plan that is far greater than what we can see right now. I rest in that knowledge tonight hoping that I never turn from seeking His peace, His comfort and His wisdom in this entire process!
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. ~ Isaiah 55:8-9