I used to wonder, and dread, and worry that God might ask me to do something….you know….hard. I wondered what I would do if He asked me to dance. In public. In worship. Would I ignore the Voice, the request? Would I convince myself I heard differently? Would I stand in my row of people singing and have an arguement in my head with the Holy Spirit? Would I dance?
What if God asked me to build an ark? In a season of drought, with plenty of provision all around me for any emergency….would I actually get the lumber and follow the instructions and build the ark? People would talk…..for sure. I would get laughed at and “discredited” as a respectable person. My credibility matters alot to me. Maybe too much. Could credibility turn into pride? Could I forsake that? If God asked me to build an ark, would I have Faith enough to build that ark in His name?
What if Jesus asked me to get out of the boat and walk on the water. Could I? If I was on a lake in the summer, with my family, and I clearly heard the audible voice of the Lord tell me to swing my legs over and stand on the water, could I? If I had a vision of Jesus holding out his hand to me, summoning me to get out of the boat and walk on the water to meet Him…..would I? Would I dare?
God has called me, and my family to an impossible adoption. There is a child on the other side of the world that I truly believe God intends to be ours. There is no way to get her here. No way. Only God’s way. I’ve begged for this, prayed for this, joked about it, dreamed about it and now we seem to be moving in that direction…..and yet. I’m afraid to wonder if this is even bigger than dancing, or building, or swinging my legs over the edge of the boat. It feels like all 3 rolled into one big fat bubble of hope and fear and awesome wonder…..and anticipation…..because God is just that able. My job is to know that and then to trust and obey. There’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.