A short disclaimer…..on the days I am assigned to post, I will mostly post late at night. I apologize for this habit. I’m sure it is annoying. I can’t write a draft and schedule it for my assigned day…I just can’t. It’s a thing with me. I have to write in the moment….and most days, the moment comes at the end of the day. It is what it is.
We are adopting. Again. We really are. When we decided to adopt for the first time, we had 3 bio kids. We agreed that God was calling us to this adoption and we moved forward and 9 months later, our daughter Precious came home as a newborn babe. I knew before she was born that we would adopt again. I just knew it. My husband couldn’t wrap his brain around it then….but he does now. He wraps his brain around it daily because we are assembling our dossier, which is the international packet of pounds of papers that basically reassure India that we are cleared to adopt, we won’t misuse the privelege or cause any harm to our child coming home. We are asking for a certain child. That’s tough….and improbable. We are doing it anyway because I love her. I have dreamed about her. In my dreams, I’ve heard her call me “mom”….and we can’t afford this adoption, and we are stressed to the max with the 4 kids we have now….and we are adopting her. We are. By God’s grace and in His Will alone. If it doesn’t happen, its because God changed the plan.
I’m preparing a presentation about India for my son’s class tomorrow. I’m looking over photos, deciding what a bunch of third grade kids really want and need to learn about India, from the 2 trips I have taken there. Nestled within the presentation that my mom gave recently to her Woman’s Club….that I was revamping for my presentation….was this picture of my child. Gosh, I wish I could figure out how to post a photo. You really have to see it but I can’t ever get photos up on this sight. It’s a picture of our daughter in India, on my lap. My hand is protective around her little 2 year old body. I’m tipped at an angle, to watch her as we look at the bible that my friend Heather donated for her, as an Easter gift. All the girls in this foster home got a bible for Easter, from friends right here at home. She’s snuggled in on my lap and when I see this photo….I can barely breathe. It feels like a promise. Me, in a sari, on Easter Sunday, holding this child that I have prayed for, begged for, dreamed for….and the children’s story book bible between us as we look at the pictures and share a moment in time. I had never seen this photo before tonight. My mom must have taken it with her camera or Ipad….she and I took this trip together last spring. I’m undone by it…in a really excited, hopeful, surreal and yet oh-so-real way. We’re adopting again. She’s coming home. We’re almost ready for the Indian government to match us with her.
God has to line things up just right….and work against all odds….and then she’ll be here…on my lap…again.