Since arriving home a month ago with our newest Treasure, it seems chaos has taken over, despite my best efforts to keep it at bay. We have decisions to make based on the new dynamic of our family, and some days it seems easier if someone would simply tell me what to do rather than coping with the stress of ‘limbo’. After all, every day has enough calendar clutter without the extra decision-making.
Even as I am forced to weed my schedule and trade old habits for new and improved ones, I still find myself stressed and feeling like I start every day running behind. I just finished a fabulous Bible study on J.I. Packer’s book Knowing God with an awesome group of ladies on-line (I highly recommend this book study!). I wonder how I could read daily of how very sufficient God is and still toil in my own human weakness. What am I clinging to that I must let go? Why can’t I get my head above the water?
This week I’ve been handing it over to the Lord, little by little. As I pore over the Word in search of answers, I keep coming back to the same thing ~
Matthew 6:33 ~ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Why has this basic truth been so difficult for me to grasp lately? Why do I feel like I’m constantly seeking cover from an imminent storm? I know the truth, so why can’t I embrace it?
Our wise and completely adequate God has let me waller in my own mess for a while, but He has not allowed me to become defeated. He has been ever-present and in control, even in my spiral. He pricked the heart of my teen son, and now he is passionately preparing for a mission trip next month. This happened despite the chaos. He has presented open doors when we didn’t even know which way to look.
I praise God that He is not caught off guard, and He is never overwhelmed. He is completely adequate and never wavers from the truth. He never intends for me to weather the storm alone. Too often it takes a storm for me to see the light. Thank you, Lord, for being so very patient with me.
He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. Psalm 107:29