God has reminded me several times over the past several days the importance of friendships. When talking with adoptive moms I hear a common theme … maintaining friendships is so hard! Often times when we are on the adoptive parenting journey our family life looks different from those that we have always been friends with. Sometimes the chasms of these differences are far too deep for the friendship to even last. I am not trying to be the “glass half empty girl” but trying to be a realist in that many times friendships change or even fizzle out when the hard job of parenting a child or children from early trauma enters into your reality.
God does provide even in this area for us if we are willing to broaden our interactions. I have been involved in an adoption support group for a few years now. This is a group of people who have been able to get to know each other well over the course of time, and there is always someone there that can understand the struggle you may be experiencing. God blessed me last week, more than I was anticipating, with a trip taken with three other adoptive moms. I can tell you that I do not know any other group that welcomes a little “get-away” than adoptive moms parenting children that have come from hard places. We laughed so hard … EVERY DAY … and when it was time to leave I told one of the other moms that I need to get home so that I can rest again! It was exhausting to laugh so much, but it was good exhaustion! I am thankful for a God that provides rest along the journey. My husband and I don’t have the hardest job just yet, but we know it is coming with the addition of another child through adoption on the horizon. This time we will be welcoming a child who will likely have many early hurts to work through. I am thankful that God has given me a support system … and this support system of people who understand what is required every day on this journey.
I would encourage you to seek out ways to connect with others that are in your same situation. It is refreshing to not have to “explain” why your child acts a certain way, because those in your situation are likely dealing with the same stuff in their home. Seek out an adoption support group … or if you don’t have one in your area, start one in your church! Many times there are others out there, but they just don’t know how to connect either. We need to have more opportunities to laugh on this journey!