After reading this post by Donna at Our Heart’s Journey, I knew I had to share it with you. Thank you, Donna, for giving me permission to do so! And for sharing your heart.
I love my adopted children “differently.”
My children and I,
And these things need to be acknowledged.
Hearing the usual very Middle Eastern-sounding names, I was hoping to readdress Logan’s earlier concern from that morning, that his skin was “different.”
…and falling…and having Mommy/Daddy and Nonnie pick them back up.
But it is also very scary, very worrisome.
The term “attachment issue” FREAKS me out!
It’s hard not to go down that path of rejection and fear –
“My child is not attached to me!’
that at any given moment
anything and everything
familiar to him
He doesn’t know why and he can’t explain it.
And I use every “mommy phrase” in my arsenal to try and help him and walk him through this.
Austin had recovered for the most part. But Logan was getting worse.
Like I said, I could “see” the fear in him.
(first 3 weeks in the hospital, alone or maybe not, and then through two different foster families)
was not going to have to go through any more anxiety and pain.
We made sure he felt safe.
We made sure he felt like he was in charge
and that we were gong to move forward on his word.
“giving birth to a child is like watching your heart walk around outside of your body.”
it’s like having to watch their little hearts walk around outside of their bodies.
there was a little newsstory going around about a court case
where it was to be determined if a little 4 year old boy
was going to stay with his adopted parents
or be returned to be raised by his birthmother.
he could be TAKEN FROM me
The depth of the pain is immobilizing.
he went to school
We don’t try to be “normal”
To glaze over the issues
And pretend that being adopted isn’t different.
It is different.
And so, my love is different.
My love is fierce.
And each time my child’s little heart
is raw and exposed
I will stop the world.
And quietly quelch the demons that are attacking him.
I will make sure I am giving him the tools that he needs in life
to make that invinsible thread stronger.
LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD
Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.
Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.