My sweet husband and I were able to leave town overnight yesterday. My mom could help, and one kiddo had a birthday party sleepover….the older kids all had plans. We left town shortly after lunch time yesterday and were home by 4pm today. In theory, this is a manageable thing. In reality….we managed. The kids did great. They had fun on their sleep-overs. They behaved great….until we all got home. My husband and I had a blast. We laughed, we held hands, we relaxed. We ate really great food and saw a movie and slept well in the hotel……until we got home.
Tantrums, acting out, screaming and crying and being disobedient…..telling me I am the worst mom ever…..and generally just releasing the pressure valve of the 24 hour steam tank. It just sucks. It was like the entire unwinding, relaxing get-away just blew up in my face and unraveled all night long. Doggon it. I took the trash out to the garage and literally beat the garbage bag against the can in frustration. No harm, no foul…….
I knew this would come as a response to being away for 26 hours but I did not have the armor to shield against the attack. 4 hours later, the kids are asleep and I am exhausted. Its just so hard, isn’t it?
And then we remember that there is grace. Grace to wake up tomorrow and smile at my children and make breakfast and sing songs and get ready for church. Grace to spend much-needed quality time with the little people here, and to make sure that their cups are filled up again before we start a new week. Grace to not feel bitter or resentful for how much work it is to raise up children to be good human beings…..Grace to find Sabboth rest and not be mad at God Almighty for making it so hard.
Grace to remember that He feels the same way about loving me on many days…..but He loves me in spite of my difficult nature, my complaining, my tantrums and my troubles……Grace to accept His unconditional love and to beg Him to pour it out into me as well on these hard days.