I was suppose to blog on Wednesday but Wednesday looked a whole lot different then I thought it would when I went to bed Tuesday night. Wednesday brought a fresh reminder of my deep dependence on God. It is humbling that I need a reminder but this past Wednesday God used a horrible stomach virus to remind me how much I need to depend on Him.
You see, Wednesday night was our last big event for the campus ministry year. It was our annual Night with the Badgers community fundraiser and vision night (the night God uses to bring in the money we use all year for campus ministry) as well as, the baptisms of 6 athletes! God was going to get much glory and honor in this night. However, it was looking like both my husband and I were not going to make it as we laid in bed, with fevers, body aches, and vomiting. This was a problem since we made up half of our ministry team.
As we laid around without any energy I thought about just how fragile human life is. How dependent we are on God. How my very breath comes from the Lord.
Isa 42:5 “This is what God the LORD says— the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out, who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it:”
Act 17:25 “Rather, He Himself (Jesus) gives everyone life and breath and everything else.”
I was humbled when I realized that once again I had become self-reliant and though I was doing a much to proclaim the Gospel I was doing it without asking the Lord for His help. I was not acknowledging how useless my efforts are if His Spirit is not present, if He is not working.
God did allow my husband and I to recover enough by the evening so we were able to attend and play our role in the night. And what an amazing night it was! My heart was welling up with gratefulness for the ways God had worked in students lives and for the community He brought that wants to be apart of His work through the ministry. I would have been so bummed to have missed the night.
Part of my journal the next morning reads, “ I was reminded of my dependence on you Jesus. Just how much we need you. Sorry for so often forgetting that and getting comfortable with my life. Forgive me for self-reliance. Thanks you for the humble reminder. Jesus I need you. I love you and I worship you for you are good, all the time you are good!! Praises to you my great God!”
May we remember more often then not, how depend we are on God. And how faithful God is to give us His grace and carry us in our times of need! Even if I was not well enough to go that night I can rest in knowing God is good and all the time God is good!
“For the LORD your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zep. 3:17