To my sister as her wedding day approaches…
From the time you were little you have seen the movies and heard the fairytales that promise the happily ever after. And today we are here to celebrate your happily ever after. We are so excited for you and this new chapter. “Happily Ever After” – those are interesting words. From the moment you say I do, you will be happy all the time. Your husband will never leave his socks on the floor. He will always remember to close the toilet seat, and, even if he forgets, as a bride, you will never be annoyed at small things.
Your husband will make you feel cherished and loved every day of your marriage. You will make your husband feel respected. You will seek out his advice on all big and small decisions, and then you will follow his advice.
You will never say something rash, or make a big deal out of something trivial.
Your husband will inherit the amazing husband super power of mind reading. Gone are the days where you will have to explain to your husband what you need or want. No, he will be able to look across a crowded room and see his beloved and within seconds know exactly what you are thinking. And you don’t have to worry about thinking bad thoughts, because you will never have an angry or negative thought about your husband from your wedding day on. You will never be tempted to criticize him, and you will never want to change him, or just parts of his personality.
Your husband will be able to listen to your problems and not feel like he needs to fix them. He’ll just validate your feelings and give you chocolate. Speaking of chocolate, PMS is non-existent in marriage. You will always show him love the way he feels love, and he will always show you love the way you feel it
You will never have a disagreement on a financial decision. You will never make a financial mistake. If one of you is a saver, the other one will be fine with not spending. And if one of you is a spender, the other one will be fine with you spending. It will be like money grows on trees for you.
When and if you decide to start a family, it will happen according to your plan and in your timetable. There will be no surprises. If you have biological children, labor will be a breeze and your baby will probably sleep through that first night at the hospital. If you adopt, the paperwork will seem fun, and it will be predictable. All those theories you are putting together right now about how to be the perfect parent before having any kids, you will find were absolutely correct.
You will only speak kind, patient, and loving words, and you will find that your entire household also speaks this way.
Ask any married woman you know, and she’ll tell you that everything I’ve said is all pure fiction. I’m sure that was obvious from the first sentence. But in truth, sister, you do have a happily ever after. It’s just that your happily ever after isn’t found in your coming marriage, your family, your friends, your career, or even in yourself. Your greatest need has been met and your biggest problem has been solved, and this is your happily ever after. Your happily ever after is found in Christ. And you are on your journey to Him. The beautiful thing about marriage is that as a Christian, while your husband can’t be your everything, he can partner with you and journey alongside you as you travel together to the One who is everything. I don’t know what your days together will look like, but I know that when times are good you will have a friend to laugh and rest easy with. When curveballs come you will have someone to hold onto and process with. He will give you plenty of opportunities to practice grace and forgiveness, and you will give him the same opportunities in return. You will la
ugh, cry, argue, discuss, encourage, compliment, hurt, forgive, give grace, and rest together. It will not be fantasy, but it will be an exciting and lovely new chapter.
I want to end with three small things you can do as a wife that will reap large returns in your marriage. First, I would say pray. Pray over your marriage, pray with your husband; be prayerful as you drift to sleep and when you wake in the morning. Prayer will transform your heart and mind and give you good perspective in those moments of big emotions. Second, memorize Scripture. Those verses like “the anger of man…” will help remind you in times of anger that perhaps a pause is necessary. And last, be thankful. Everyday find something to give thanks for in your marriage. No matter how small it seems at the time, if you cultivate a thankful heart you will be cultivating a joyful marriage. So pray, memorize, and give thanks. It sounds easy, but as much as I hate to say it, my intro was just fantasy yet still you might find yourself disappointed when life doesn’t mirror the make believe. That time he doesn’t read your mind, or you show love a different way than he needs it. Those are the opportune moments to remember that marriage is a gift, and while we aren’t perfect spouses and don’t have perfect spouses, we serve the One who is perfect, and not only perfect but faithful So cast your cares on Him because he cares for you and remember to pray, call to mind the Word of God, and purposely and tirelessly pursue joy. Little sister, you are going to make a beautiful bride – not only on the outside, but also on the inside.
We love you. We are so thankful for the story God is writing for you and your husband. And truly, we do celebrate your happily ever after and the one you get to partner with on your journey to it.
