Lately I’ve met some new people with the onset of a new school year. New teachers and other moms, etc. When we discuss families (theirs and mine) I tend to hear things like, “well bless you for taking in these children” etc. and my least favorite comment, “I don’t know how you do it. I could never do it”…..regarding adoption and raising a large family. Well. Newsflash. I “do it” because they are my CHILDREN!!!!! I said yes to adoption because the Lord asked me to. He did. Long ago and then again and again and again over the years. I cannot imagine how miserable I would feel and how empty I would be had I not said yes to God. He asked me twice to expand our family through adoption. This is not charity work or some ministry…..this is the family that God ordained for me. Period.
Yes. It is hard. Every day. A fourteen year age difference between oldest and youngest is very challenging. Trying to get five children outfitted with fall/winter clothing is crazy expensive. Navigating racial issues when some of your kids have different colored skin is tricky. heck yeah its hard. But its my hard. Every family has their definition of hard. For some it’s a special needs child, or twins, or a husband who won’t help. For others its mental health issues or physical disabilities or…..the list goes on and on. The point is, that all family life has seasons that are hard. Raising children is not easy, and often not very pleasant…..but it is good. It is Godly. It is faithful.
I don’t want my children to look back on their childhood years and remember a crabby mom or dissatisfaction. I want them to say, “I’m sure the house was a mess and my parents were tired, but I don’t really remember that. I remember lots of fun in the back yard and my parents cheering for me in my sports. I remember Christmas holidays with relatives and board games around the dining room table and lots of friends around. I remember my mom cooking dinner and my dad helping me with homework. I remember buying a birthday gift for every member of the family every birthday. I remember my grandma’s perfume and my grandpa’s silly gifts he always brought us. I remember painting bird houses and rocks. I remember when my dad taught my sunday school class and my mom came back from India in love with all the orphans and women there…….”
Life is hard. God is good. He will continue to give me more than I can handle precisely so that I will cry out to him, reach for him, yearn for him and lean on him and not my own devices. The Lord is sovereign and he gets to decide the measure of my days and how easy or hard they will be. Tomorrow again, we will wake up and I will nudge and hug and shove and yell a bit to get everyone out the door for the day. I have to work outside the home as well as inside…..I have responsibilities to a nursing career that is also a call from the Lord. It’s hard to be a working mom and get it all done. Oh well. He never, ever, ever said it would be easy. He only said it was what he wanted me to do.
