I’m tired, I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I’m worn
I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I’m too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left.
These are the lyrics to a song by Tenth Avenue North, and that is how I feel most days lately. Even before the day begins, I’m worn and weary. But I am not writing to express discouragement because I know that even though “my prayers are wearing thin, I’m weak, my soul feels crushed, and my heart is heavy,” I know my prayers are heard. God knows my needs. He is listening and cares for me.
My feelings are deceptive and not the truth! Some dear friends who have come along side me in this journey of parenting children from hard places have helped me realize this. The truth is in God’s word, his unfailing and everlasting love, his all-sufficient grace, His faithfulness. Knowing I am His child (John 1:12) and He is a good, good Father, even for an imperfect, weary parent like me. Knowing I have been chosen by God and adopted, too (Eph 1:3-9). Knowing I am free from condemnation (Rom 8:1-2) and that God works for my good in all circumstances (Rom 8:28), even when I am worn and weary.
So instead of being discouraged, I will draw near to Him daily. Even in these last few days, He has been reminding me that in my weakness, He is strong and I can trust Him. He is carrying me and renewing my strength. My circumstances haven’t changed, but He is faithful and is transforming me and I am encouraged!
