I woke up this morning with a migraine. I have never in my 42 years had a migraine. I have heard others talk about getting them and have seen my sister with one, but never have I had one … until today.
I woke with the worst headache I have ever experienced. I immediately wanted to know why … I think about my sleep … a normal amount for me. I think about what I ate yesterday, again … probably not the best choices but my “normal.” Why does a head ache like that just appear? I have never researched it probably because I have never had to. About an hour after I woke it was so bad that I thought I was going to vomit. I have heard others describe this but I have never actually experienced it myself. I wanted to get my coffee into me because usually a little headache in the morning will be eliminated by my morning coffee. But I couldn’t get it down …. nausea is a nasty thing!
About 9:00 am my sister called and I shared my misery and asked for her to pray for me. She said she would and then insisted that she send her nineteen year old daughter to my home to pick up my daughter and that she would be delivering some Excedrin Migraine for me to take. I have always known that I am one that cannot accept help well. I feel like my trials are not that bad … I can get through it. Really, if it is that bad I can call my husband and he would willingly come home to care for me. But, I don’t want to HAVE to be cared for. I want to be able to do it, on my own, not relying on others to help me through. Sound like a problem to anyone out there? I know that it is a problem that I have. I don’t want to NEED someone … maybe an issue of pride? When my sister texted me that they were coming to get my daughter, I told her that was not necessary. Her response to me was, “Don’t argue with me, it’s not very often that I am able to help you.” That one statement has really made me think this morning. Well, the thinking started after I was able to sleep, in complete dark and quiet for two hours while my daughter was off having fun with her cousin. I know that if I think I don’t need help from others, this likely transfers easy to not NEEDING the help of my Heavenly Father. Why is it so difficult to show our weakness? When will I learn that God knows each and every area of weakness within me and my convincing myself that I don’t need help doesn’t translate to Him believing that I don’t need help.
Thank you Lord for this reminder today. Thank you for providing me help in my time of need … even when in my humanness I would rather think that I don’t need help and I can do it on my own. Please Lord help those out there that need help, whether small or large, to accept that help that YOU send! If someone is offering you help today, think about whether this help is coming from the ONE that loves you so much and knows your need far greater than you will ever know it on your own!