As I woke up today, I asked God to give me some inspiration for this post. By mid-morning, I wasn’t feeling very inspired. I was already wound pretty tight, eye twitching, claws bared, not very enjoyable to be around. And that’s actually when it hit me– that moment of divine revelation. But honestly, it really felt more like the sting of conviction. It came like a palm to the forehead; reminiscent of a V8 commercial….I should’ve had this light-bulb moment a long time ago.
I homeschool my four kids. Being a goal driven, outcome-oriented person, sometimes I become a drill sergeant instead of a mom. I’m not proud of it, but it’s the truth. I can have a tendency towards wanting results rather than focusing on shepherding and nurturing hearts. With four individuals who have four individual personalities, interests, attention spans, learning abilities, and sense of time management (or lack of) I can start seeing each child as a task and each educational hurdle or misbehavior as something to be conquered.
I do have four human beings to launch into the world, you know. I have to teach them the…. EVERYTHING, or so I tell myself. Throw a struggling learner or two in there, a few too many interruptions, and watch me lose it by 9:30 a.m. It becomes an environment of Me vs. You. We don’t have time, or maybe I don’t have the patience, so just do everything the way you’re supposed to and we’ll all live in peace, or at least. just. live.
So, there’s the problem. I’m not always a team player. In fact, I’m often setting up opposition. And that’s where God’s wisdom dropped on me like a bag of rocks today. My kids don’t need me to harp or give sermons; my kids need to feel like I am for them not against them. They are more than what they accomplish. When I see them making bad choices or the same mistake again and again I can choose to have compassion and really see the struggle they are having… and not just focus on outcomes. These are the moments that I need to stop and pray with my child, ask God to open understanding and to mature the fruits of His Spirit in each of us as we are working side by side.
All your children will be taught by the LORD, and great will be their peace. Isaiah 54:13