I read Niki’s blog post from this past Saturday, about how sometimes adoptive mommas start to try and ask for a “yes” to adopt again, and it was striking to me how many stages there are on this adoptive journey. Those that have been through it and desire to give more and more. They see the needs of kiddos and can be overwhelmed in not considering saying “yes” to each scenario. Seeing kids in need and evaluating it as to what God is saying … Is he asking us to respond to the need? And then there are those of us that have been on this journey before, seeing it to completion and are on the journey again, this time, taking much longer than we ever anticipated. Waiting and waiting not knowing what God is going to say in the end.
How many home study updates do you continue to pay for? We have been waiting for a total of 3 ½ years. Two of those years were in an international process until we chose to change course to domestic. Now, 1 ½ years into making that change, we are still waiting. And even though I know that 1 ½ years isn’t even that long in comparison to many family’s journeys, It is hard not to question why God would have us wait this long. We have worked to lay it all at His feet, waiting on His timing, believing His will would be done and working to be content in however this progressed. There have been times over the past six months when we have had hard conversations about continuing on, during those times God would surprise us with another confirmation, “you need to continue.” He has provided our entire financial need to finish this process. All we are waiting on is for Him to bring the call of that child that He will place in our family.
I don’t want to wait anymore. I will admit it. I am weary from waiting. I want to “get this show on the road” and move into this next amazing job that God has for us. It can also be easy to think, “let’s just hang it up,” take this wait as God saying, “not gonna happen” and move on. In America is it hard to wait, living life in this country it is hard to believe that if He wants us to do this He would have us wait this long. I have no answers, but what I do have is encouragement. I don’t know what God will do, but I do believe that for our family we have to keep waiting. In many ways it seems it would be easier if we had confirmation that hanging it up is the answer. When I look into my daughter’s eyes, and recall all God did in calling us to this journey, I just believe we have to continue. It may not be quick, it may not look how we envisioned it, and quite honestly it may never happen, but it is still God. It is always His timing. Please remember that He hasn’t left you in the wait. He will reveal His story when the timing is right. This whole thing isn’t about us, it is about HIM; it is about what He is doing always. Fast or slow, this process is still His. Please be encouraged, He has not left you!