If I received a dollar for every person that has said to me “I could never do foster care because I could never give the child back,” we could probably fund our entire private adoption.
I was sitting with some gals at church that I was meeting for the first time. We got to talking as we are a transracial family and so the topic of adoption often comes up soon after meeting someone. Through our discussion we got to the topic of foster care and adopting children from the foster care system. As is always the case, one of the gals in the group said that she has always wanted to do foster care but didn’t think she could handle having to give the children back. I hear this so much that I usually don’t give it another thought other than to always say that returning children to their birth family is a very hard part of it (we’ve done that) but that you always know your role going into it and know that it a strong possibility.
After the discussion this particular night I was thinking about that statement and how much we miss out on doing things when we enter our decisions with that mindset. I was thinking about all of the things that we encounter in life that we don’t know are coming. The things that are so incredibly hard but you just continue to move forward, lean on Christ and you make it through. In doing foster care, you already know this hard part of the process, you have time to prepare yourself and you can be an excellent resource always knowing that God has given you this caring role for a timeframe that you have to trust is in His plan. I wonder if that is actually easier than those things thrown at us in life that we can’t plan or prepare for. At 21 years old I was hit with the news that my dad was leaving my mom and our family would never be the same. It was out of left field, and no preparation was granted before it. When we did foster care, we had a little one that was with us 8 months, she returned home, it was hard … for our whole family. It was sad for us, there was a grieving process, and we had to let go. We also always knew that our role as a foster family was to love and care for as long as we are allowed so we could prepare for this day and it was not a surprise.
I know this is not a blog about foster care, but a blog for adoption. If you are reading this and have been someone that has thought “I have always wanted to do foster care but I could never do it because I couldn’t give them back” I would challenge you in how God may be speaking. He goes before you, He prepares you and He has a plan that He will equip you for. The orphans of the United States need Christian families to speak into their lives. Would you be willing to allow God use you to do that?