I have the fortunate position to be working for an adoption agency. I am so privileged to walk alongside families each day entering the process, waiting in the process, grieving in the process, or joyfully finally bringing home that child that they have longed to hold for months and sometimes years. I also have the immense privilege to walk along side birth mothers and sometimes fathers as they make the hardest decision they will ever make in placing their child for adoption. Oh my, the mommy grief can be unbearable sometimes. I stand alongside them knowing as an adoptive mom how incredibly grateful I am for the gift that we received from our daughter’s precious birth mom … but also feeling deeply their sorrow in that moment. When our daughter’s birth mother handed her to us, hugged us and walked away I was so not prepared for the grief I would feel for her loss. I truly felt for a moment that I needed to hand this precious baby back to her, I was so sad for her. I mean, really, I had longed for three years for this child before we even entered the adoption process, and then we waited 10 months to be matched and get to bring her home … why would I be grieving in this moment?
God changed my heart that day in a way that I didn’t anticipate was possible. He showed me how shallow my thinking was and how we can walk along in life making decisions based on His leading and know that it is right for us or for our family, but really, He has much bigger plans than we could even conceive in that moment. Four years later I have been blessed with a position that allows me to walk along side grieving birth moms and dads. The intensity of the love that exists between a birth mom/dad and their baby in that moment can be overwhelming. I so desire that those in the Christian community could see beyond a woman choosing life, which is so incredibly important, but that what comes with that choice is the hardest thing she will ever have to do. The courage in that moment should be acknowledged and honored.
Two days ago I was talking with a gal that I had the privilege of working with this year. She made the most difficult choice in placing her child. She told me that in looking back at 2012 she is amazed at how blessed she was in this year … she anticipated this being the hardest year and instead God has blessed her beyond anything she could have imagined. That blessing came through an adoptive family that has embraced her in ways that she didn’t anticipate. The birth father connected with this same adoptive family also told me two weeks ago that in seeing his son with his new family, his “sorrow has been replaced by joy” … what incredible words for me to hear. A courageous decision with a beautiful outcome … thank you Lord for orchestrating this! May 2013 bring you new ways to embrace and honor these courageous choices!!