So, a week ago was Mother’s Day. It was a tough day for me this year. Not sure why, haven’t even really nailed that down yet. I was just in a “funk” all day long. My husband and I always joke about “hallmark holidays” and I have to admit for us, Mother’s and Father’s day kind of fall into that category. Of course it is nice to be recognized and all that jazz, but really, being mommy and daddy is just who we are and we don’t need a day to acknowledge it. I also realize that it is good to have a day to allow us to recognize others too, so I don’t typically avoid the day. Our daughter is talking more about her birth mom than in years past, and this year she was much more involved in picking out the card and getting it mailed to her. It was fun to watch her color her picture and explain to me what each piece was (her special smiley face balloons and flowers). I love to talk with my daughter about her birth mom, but I also have a lot of grief for her birth mom and for many women who are grieving over “mommy hood” issues. In this broken world there is so much pain and hurt and even though we can rejoice over Mother’s Day, it is also a painful day for so many. I never fully diagnosed my “mommy blues” a week ago, but I think that it is related to knowing deeply and personally how much pain and loss there is surrounding being a mom.
I have also been made aware of some ideas floating out there about the Christian response to the orphan crisis and maybe even some allegations of Christians wanting children that shouldn’t be there’s to want. I struggle with the notion that we, as Christians, are just trying to bring a child home so that they can be saved through Christ by arriving in our homes. I think that we need to keep in mind that God doesn’t NEED us to get His work done. He can do His work without us and He doesn’t NEED us to be able to reach children for eternal salvation. I do believe, however, that He does USE us in some circumstances to be able to save some of His children. I have no guarantee that bringing a child into my home equals salvation for that child, just as there is not guarantee that a child born through my body arriving in this home equals salvation for that child. We certainly pray for salvation for all of our children no matter how they arrived in our home.
Maybe the Mother’s Day blues I was experiencing was out of a complete sadness for the orphan crisis and how that impacts so many worldwide. It is a large problem, in a broken world. My desire is that I continue to allow the Holy Spirit to guide me in what my response should be to the orphan. Maybe having such sadness for this brokenness isn’t a bad thing … maybe it occurring on Mother’s Day isn’t what I was anticipating, but regardless, God is in control of it all. I have grief for my daughter’s birth mom, for the women that I have seen make the choice to place their child into the arms of an adoptive family, and for the woman sitting in her home in a 3rd world country, grieving that she cannot provide for all of her children. I believe the first, best choice is always for children to be able to remain with their birth family. But when a mom makes a choice that she wants a different option for her child (whether in the US or abroad), I choose to stand in a position to help her with that choice. Maybe I am off base and that creating a program for a child to remain in their birth family is a better option. I just don’t know … but in the wait for possible other options, I choose not to stand by and do nothing.