This week I had the opportunity to listen to Dr. Kang from the University of Minnesota’s Adoption Clinic.  Dr. Kang spoke about her work with children and families in post-adoption visits to the U of M clinic.  An adoption clinic, such as the University of Minnesota, does not take the place of primary care for children but rather provides adjunct specialized care to children who have one thing in common: adoption.  Domestic and international adoptees and their families receive care here that focuses on issues that are either universal to adoption or may be common issues for children with a specific background.  Children often visit the clinic 2-3 weeks after homecoming, again at 3-6 months home and then as needed.  During this time children continue to visit their primary provider who may remain in contact with the adoption clinic for coordinated care.  A few important messages:

1)  Dr. Kang said they often give a child 3 months before referring to early intervention services giving a child time to acclimate and bond first.  Many developmental issues begin to fade quickly within the love of a family.  (At their first visit to the clinic all children receive comprehensive medical, developmental, audiology, dentistry, and opthamology assessments.)

2)  Dr. Kang recommends drawing titers for immunity rather than repeating all vaccinations.

3) Precocious puberty can be treated if treatment if initiated prior to menses.  Delaying menses for girls adopted as older children may allow for emotional maturation as they adjust to their family.

4)  Iron levels should be checked again at 6 months due to rapid growth which may deplete stores even in the presence of excellent nutrition. 

5)  Dr. Kang recommends parents provide all care necessary for life.  In other words, in the first several months whenever possible, parents should try to feed, clothe, bathe and comfort their newly adopted child to optimize bonding and attachment.  

More suggestions are available on the University of Minnesota’s Adoption Clinic website including screening protocols, information about travel, current research.  This information can be shared with a local care provider.   

Tressa

Chapter 9 – Ongoing Partnerships

Summary

“ [This is] the condition in which most of us begin: ignorant, isolated, and alienated from people who are unlike us. We are strangers who communicate differently, have difference cultures, eat different foods, enjoy different music, and see the world from different points of view. We are socialized to label these differences as inferior or superior, right or wrong, normal or abnormal, safe or dangerous, good or bad. We alienate ourselves from people who are unlike us and develop an aversion to them based on our prejudices, stereotypes, and fears.” (134-5)

Racial reconcilers “must develop ongoing partnerships that support their desire and commitment to be people God can use in the healing of people and nations . . .within a sustaining community people who desire to be reconcilers learn from each other and become aware of the things they do not know. Through ongoing partnerships they develop awareness of the social conditions around them.” (136)

“As the members of this diverse group engage with each other – sharing their stories and getting to know each other by being honest and vulnerable – empathy and bond begin to form between them. During this process, some of the automatic assumptions, perceptions, and stereotypes people have held about others are challenged and changed.” (137)

“In addition to sharing our story with others . . . [we need to] learn from leaders of a different race and ethnicity by submitting ourselves to their leadership . . . when whites submit to the leadership of people of color, opportunities to identify, examine and confront their distorted views and prideful attitudes will emerge in the context of loving, ongoing partnership.” (138)

“There is a script for the racial reconciliation process that is helpful in some ways but destructive in others. . . white people have a certain scripted role in that struggle. It seems that they are expected to (1) repent of racism and (2) work behind the scenes to raise money and open organizational doors so people of color can lead. There are good things about this script, but it can be very limiting.” (139) We should contribute to racial reconciliation according to our gifts and calling.

“People of color also have a script. They are expected to represent their whole race, speak out for justice and focus their life on justice for their community and their people. There are many good things about this script as well, but it can also be very limiting. Too many people of color have left their community and never looked back to help others.” (140)

“The process of identifying with others allows people to see themselves as unique individuals, not just as members of a particular racial or ethnic group. This is the beginning of forming a new identity and moving beyond categories and stereotypes. Through ongoing engagement with those who are racially and ethnically different, people are helped to see themselves as more than they or society thought they were. They are given a vision of who are also learning and growing in racial and ethnic reconciliation. This is a vital component of healthy, ongoing partnerships and is crucial to the reconciliation process.” (141)

Questions from Study Guide (194)

Have you ever submitted to the leadership of a person who was from a different ethnic and racial background? What was that experience like for you? Was it difficult or challenging?

How would you rate your intercultural skills? What can you do to improve them?

________________________________________
McNeil, Brenda Salter, and Rick Richardson. The Heart of Racial Justice: How Soul Change Leads to Social Change. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2009.
 

Sherri

 Like Julie, I am moved and saddened by the case of the adoptive mom sending her son back to his homeland because of attachment difficulties.  I have tried numerous times to be fair — to put myself in her shoes, to "try on" the emotions she may have encountered as she contemplated her next move(s).  I’m trying to be just, to be understanding.

And finding it really difficult.  REALLY difficult.

Instead of judging, though, I think I’m called instead to help stir the conversation that needs to take place.  Katelyn’s Fund Orphan Ministry has been such a blessing to my family, and, in turn, I try to promote integrity on its behalf.  One of our chief components of the 4-fold strategy is support.  We have monthly support meetings aimed at tackling those difficult topics — such as attachment difficulties and transition challenges and older child adoption… the list goes on and on.  Katelyn’s Fund even has a new branch in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, trying to tap into families an hour or more away who are seeking support, encouragement, and a safe haven for truthful conversation.

We MUST talk.  Christians are called to support orphans, but God doesn’t promise the road will be clear or easy.  In times of difficulty, we shouldn’t shoulder the burden alone.  Join with us at Katelyn’s Fund, where we are yoked together to weather incoming storms.  Let’s talk before acting… and let’s never forget, in the meantime, to pray.

I’ve watched the development of Artyem Saviliev’s story with deep sorrow and concern–both for Artyem and for all the families whose children wait in Russia.  Please pray much for all those involved in and affected by this tragedy.  In addition to prayer,Joint Council suggests several others ways you can support adoptive families and children waiting in Russia (see below).  I encourage you to consider advocating for our fellow adoptive families.

We Are The Truth

A Campaign and Call to Action

The outrageous treatment of Artyem by his adoptive family has rightfully resulted in outrage by the Governments of Russia and the United States and all who care about children.  The tragedy has cast a light on intercountry adoption that says it is not safe, the system failed and adopted children cause insurmountable problems.  The heartbreak of Artyem Saviliev’s abandonment has once again elevated a singular incident to a level which may result in the suspension of intercountry adoption.  Suspending adoption, even temporarily, will only cause thousands of children to suffer the debilitating effects of life in an orphanage.

You, the community of adoptees, adoptive parents, adoptive grandparents, child welfare professionals and child advocates know that the outrageous and indefensible actions of one parent are not indicative of how children are treated by adoptive families.  You know that families who encounter difficulties do not simply abandon their child.  You know that help is available, that solutions are found and that families can thrive.  And you know that suspending adoption does not protect children but only subjects them to the depravity of an institution…and an entire life without a family. 

You, the adoption community know the truth.  You live the truth.  You are the truth.

Join our campaign to bring the truth to light and help children in need find a permanent and safe family.

What You Can Do

1)      Sign the letter to President Medvedev and President Obama: The letter asks both Presidents to ensure that intercountry adoption continues uninterrupted and to aggressively investigate and prosecute anyone involved in the abuse of children.  You can sign anytime, but doing so before Tuesday night would help us get the letters to both Presidents before President Medvedev leaves the U.S.   To sign the letter, click here.

2)      We Are The Truth – an adoption blogger day: To ensure the world knows about every successful adoption, on Thursday, April 15, 2010 blog about your adoption or the adoption of someone you know.  It doesn’t matter if your adoption is with Russia, domestic or otherwise international.  Let the world know your truth! 

3)      Tell Your Truth with Video – make sure the world sees, hears and feels the thousands of successful adoptions from Russia by:

1. Send Joint Council your successful Russian adoption video via email to alexa.m@jcics.org. 

• Video should be a maximum of 3 minutes.
• A release must be sent to Joint Council or we cannot accept your video. For a copy of the release, click here. 

2. Joint Council will translate the video into Russian and post it on our YouTube Channel. 

4)      Tell Your Truth with Words and Photos

1. Send Joint Council your successful Russian adoption story via email to alexa.m@jcics.org.  Send us your stories through:
   • Photos (please do not send more than 10) 
   • Essays (maximum 500 words)
   • A release must be sent to Joint Council or we cannot accept your story and/or pictures.  For a copy of the release, click here. 
2. Joint Council will then compile the stories and pictures, translate them into Russian and post them on our website and/or blog.

5)      Share Your Truth

1. Joint Council will post, forward and share your stories via Facebook, Twitter, and blogs.   Joint Council will be updating our YouTube Channel and Facebook page as the stories get compiled and translated, please subscribe to us on YouTube, Twitter and Fan us on Facebook.
2. You do the same by posting on your Facebook, Twitter, blog and website!

Want to help more?

• Are you willing to speak to the media about your Russian adoption?  If so, please email betheanswer@jcics.org with the following:
  • Your name(s)
  • City, State of residence
  • Contact Phone Numbers
  • Contact Email
  • Short 4 sentence bio about your adoption
• Do you speak Russian?
  • We are in need of individual volunteers who can help our staff translate the videos and text quickly.   If you are interested in helping, email Joint Council at intern@jcics.org.
• Do you live in the Alexandria, VA area?

Joint Council is in need of short term volunteers over the next two weeks, email rebeccah@jcics.org if you would like to volunteer.

Julie

 There are times when my now 6-year old daughter desperately needs assurance. This often manifests itself in a question either about love ("Will you always love me?") or in a question about commitment ("If bad guys stole me, would you come find me?"). While she is very easily passified with my sincere and genuine answers (Nothing you could ever do would make me love you less and nothing you could ever do can make me love you more") and ("No matter what, I not stop until I find you"), I can tell that her very being is trying to comprehend how she fits into the life that she is in. She is both consciously and subconsciously seeking to understand what it means to be the black daughter of two white parents, to be from half way around the world, and to understand the ever changing dynamic of school and modern society.

So what is my strategy? First off, I do my best to pray for my children as much as possible. I pray that God lets them learn through experiences that they are unconditionally loved, both by Him and by their mother and I. There are times when they will get hurt, both physically and mentally. I need to constantly remind myself that making mistakes and being hurt is a necessary part of life rather than rushing in to shield them from everything (although there are times when I may have to). Secondly, I tell them constantly how much I love them, how proud I am of them, and how much they mean to me. I never want them to doubt that. I also encourage them to have opinions on everything, both things they like and dislike. If they dislike something, then I want them to think about a positive way to make it better. Lastly, even when I don’t have the answers (which is more oft than I care to admit), I try to pray for guidance and do my best to prepare for when that question comes up the next time. Because I am not always in the same circumstance and have the same perspective, I try to avoid telling them that I know how they feel. Because I don’t. Just like them, I am unique in my point of view.

I cannot always hold their hand and guide them, but I do want to provide them with both the courage and confidence to face the unknowns that are life. That, to me, is assurance.

 Joint Council is pleased to confirm that the Adoption Tax Credit (ATC), which was scheduled to expire in 2010, was extended for one-year (through December 31, 2011). The highlights of the ATC are;

• The maximum credit was increased from $12,150 to $13,170,
• The ATC is now retroactive to January 1, 2010. This represents a potential increase of $1,000 for adoptive families.
• The ATC was made refundable. If a family has no tax liability, the IRS will refund the amount due.

The extension of the ATC through 2011, was passed as part of the health care reform bill which was signed into law by President Obama on Monday, March 22, 2010. There was some concern that the ATC would be included in the reconciliation process, however we have confirmed that it is not part of reconciliation which means the ATC is law until December 31, 2011.

Joint Council along with many other advocates and adoptive families have long advocated for making the ATCpermanent. We applaud Congress and the Obama administration for the extension and continue to call for a permanent tax credit.

The ATC is a critically important element in finding permanent families for children in the U.S. foster care system and the children of our world, who live without permanent parental care. The ATC makes adoption a viable option for many families who may otherwise be unable to afford to adopt. We again applaud the extension and improvements to the Adoption Tax Credit.

You and individuals from your church community are invited to attend the Christian Alliance for Orphans’ national Summit VI! This national conference is designed to help Christians start and grow orphan ministry in the local church, including adoption, foster care and international orphan initiatives.
 

It is once again time for my “Exploring Racial Justice” post.  I’ve read the chapter, but have run out of energy for writing the post.  It’s been a long week of sickness, stress at work, and water in the basement.  I’m not asking for pity.  Yesterday, I would have.  But today, I am thankful for my many blessings.

I am thankful for a husband that recognized my emotional outbursts as the result of my tired body and mind, not as an image of what I feel about him.

I am thankful for my parents who came to take the kids to their place for a slumber party so that I could get a good night’s sleep.

I am thankful for my kids who have said such loving things:  “Mommy, I’m sorry you don’t feel good.”  “Mama, can we pray for you to get better?”  “Mommy, I’ll get you some water so you feel better.”

I am thankful for the medication that is cleaning out the infection in my sinuses.

I am thankful for sunshine and warmer temperatures.  I am thankful for the promise of spring.

Above all, I am thankful for the supreme sacrifice made for me by my Lord, and Savior, Jesus Christ!

Thank you, Jesus, for the innumerable blessings to bring to my life each and every day!

What are you thankful for?

Sherri

In the book, "Disciplines of a Godly Man", the author R. Kent Hughes talks about the change in the personality of suburban architecture. Gone are the days when houses had large front porches where neighbors would gather to spend time together, sharing life’s experiences with each other. Today, the modern house is a castle where we retreat to the values of  individualism, isolation, and privatization. In addition to the architecture, this can also describe our social interactions. Where once we called each other on the phone and were at least able to hear the others voice, now we text, blog, or update our status. What are we modeling for our children?

Tonight I will keep my post short and offer a few challenges:

- If you want to update your status, do so in prayer with your spouse and children. This shows them love and commitment.

- If you are thinking about someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, give them a call or go visit them. They will remember it.

- If you are wondering about adoption, go to a support group or talk to a family. For those just starting out in the process, it will answer that question that always characterizes those waiting," Will my child ever come home?"

So, rather than continue with this post, I am going to go update my status with my wife, daughter, and son.

God’s peace to you.