Lisa Qualls–when adoption is hard

julie — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 19:38:37 +0000

Adoption is beautiful. It’s poignant. It’s rewarding. And sometimes, it’s hard. Sometimes, it’s a struggle. Lisa Qualls–mom to eleven kids–writes beautifully about adoption. It’s worth the time to read her article (find it here). Be encouraged to continue in this sometimes difficult, but always wonderful labor.

Julie

Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Mommy

becky — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 19:33:05 +0000

I am so excited about this Point of View - PBS Special that I wanted to share it!

Watch the trailer at: http://www.pbs.org/pov/woainimommy/

It is a national PBS Premiere on "Point of View" that airs Tuesday, August 31. (See your local listing for times.)

What is it like to be torn from your Chinese foster family, put on a plane with strangers and wake up in a new country, family and culture? Stephanie Wang-Breal’s Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Mommy is the story of Fang Sui Yong, an 8-year-old orphan, and the Sadowskys, the Long Island Jewish family that travels to China to adopt her. Sui Yong is one of 70,000 Chinese children now being raised in the United States. Through her eyes, we witness her struggle with a new identity as she transforms from a timid child into someone that no one — neither her new family nor she — could have imagined. A co-production of American Documentary/POV and the Diverse Voices Project, presented in association with the Center for Asian American Media, with funding provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";
mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">Participate in a live chat and share your thoughts about Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Mommy on Wednesday, September 1 at 2 PM EST, the day after the broadcast of Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Mommy. The live chat will feature Faith and Donna Sadowsky, Dr. Amanda Baden, expert in transnational adoption, and filmmaker Stephanie Wang-Breal.

Becky

Reading in Your Spare Time :)

becky — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 03:00:19 +0000

I know - spare time is rare – I totally can relate!! But if you love to read as much as I do, that is still something I try to make time for – even in a busy day!

I thought this article was really good – Jedd Medefind, president of the Christian Alliance for Orphans, lists his Top 5 Books on Orphan Care. Have you read any of these?? What did you think?? Any other suggestions – I am ALWAYS looking for a new "adoption-related" read!!

Becky

Where I Am From

benjamin — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 00:41:19 +0000

Several weeks ago, my family took our summer vacation back to the small town in eastern Montana where I grew up. This was the first time I had been back since I moved away which meant that it was the first time my wife and children as well. For those of you whom have never been to eastern Montana, it is a beautiful but harsh land dominated by badlands and wheat fields. Towns are few and far between, and even the houses are well off the road, typically out of site. The small town that I still call where I am from is now even smaller, the byproduct of an economy built on agriculture and the simple fact that it is a harsh and unforgiving land. However, even though I have lived in Iowa far longer than I lived in Montana, I still call Montana my home. It is what shaped me the most during my formidable years.

This got me thinking about what my children will say to many questions centered around where they are from. In their heart and mind, where is home? Is it the country that they were born in or is it where we live now? In all likelihood, as they go through different stages in their life, the answer may change. I am proud of both answers because I know that both make up the ingredients that have baked them. One is the geographical location that will forever define them, the other is the upbringing that shapes them.

As children grow, they will inevitably complain about the place where they grew up and will talk about the only thing that they want is to get out of the town that they are in. That is a part of the growth process, the need to leave the nest. However, once they have had the opportunity to flex their wings and experience life, they will begin to evaluate the people, places, and events that shaped their lives. For a child born of adoption, there may be one or more unique chapters that are not found in other stories. Those chapters may be happy or sad, long or short, but nonetheless are a section of the trail that is behind them.

For me, the trail starts in Montana in a small home in a small town. That small house was filled with big love of family and Christ, and that town was filled with a courage to stand in the face of adversity and never back down. They both shape who I am. Sometime in the future, my children will be able to tell people where they are from, and I look forward to hearing them answer the question.

2010 Family Picnic! (August 14)

sherri — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 22:35:25 +0000

=====================================================================

Save the Date!

sherri — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 13:14:18 +0000

We will be having our annual

Family Picnic

on Saturday, August 14 at 5:00 pm

at Veteran’s Park in Orange City.

Tackling 3 Claims About Intercountry Adoption

heather — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 18:58:23 +0000

One of my favorite sessions at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in Minneapolis was a rather impromptu lunch seminar on International & Domestic Adoption the U.S. Three agency heads lead the discussion which wound up to be standing-room-only. Tom DiFilipo from JCICS attended as well as Chuck Johnson of the National Council for Adoption and several other orphan care superstars… what an amazing experience, basking in their knowledge and insight!

Bill Blacquiere, with Bethany Christian Services, opened by noting that there will always be critics of intercountry adoption. There are 3 major claims they tend to make, and rather than rolling our eyes and blowing them off, we would do well to tuck into those criticisms, talk openly about them, and be prepared to tackle these (sometimes, sadly true) concerns when they arise.

These 3 claims about intercountry adoption are:
(1) We’re taking kids out of their birth country (therefore depleting a country of a valuable natural resource).
(2) We’re fracturing their identities (racially and culturally).
(3) We’re causing the trafficking of children.

All three points have some validity – we live in a broken world, and I think we can agree that adoption isn’t the be-all, end-all. Adoption is not the universal cure but is instead a gift that unfortunately comes out of great loss.

However, Mr. Blacquiere also pointed out that the primary consideration of a child needs to be his or her physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being. When all sources have been exhausted (birth family, extended family, domestic adoption), intercountry adoption is a valid and necessary way to a child’s physical, spiritual, and emotional health. Every child deserves permanency in a healthy home. When that cannot be provided in the country of origin, we need to be willing to look across borders to meet children’s needs.

Heather

Having fun?

sherri — Sun, 16 May 2010 14:44:40 +0000

My husband and I just spent the last day and a half attending the local Tulip Festival with our 6-year-old and 3-year-old. I always start out on such excursions with a feeling of excitement and visions of a happy family of four enjoying the activities. There is no fighting or whining or complaining or disobedience. The children are cooperative and grateful for the fun and food that my husband and I provide.

Then, the excursion begins. As we all get into the car, the complaining and fighting begins. “Mom, he’s touching my stuff!” “Well, she touched my stuff first!” I patiently and calmly remind them to keep their hands to themselves as we drive away. We arrive at the festival shortly and all pile out of the vehicle. My husband and I ask the kids to please wait on the sidewalk as we get the misc. bags/chairs out of the back of the vehicle. The kids proceed down the sidewalk until we loudly, but still somewhat patiently, ask them to return. Thus, begins the whining. “Awww, but we want to go now!”

We arrive at the carnival midway, choke over the cost of the rides, and quickly decide 2 rides per kid. We explain that they each get to choose 2 rides. In what feels like a matter of minutes, both rides are finished. Thus, begins the complaining. “Awww, you never let us go on rides!” “But, you just went on two rides.” “All the other kids get to ride more! You’re so mean!”

We move on to snacks. Our son chooses a corn dog, and our daughter chooses cotton candy. We find a place to sit and watch the parade. The kids dive into their snacks and finish them in short order and still want more. So, I haul out the juice boxes and snacks from home explaining that this is all we have for snacks until supper. Those snacks disappear at mach speed and the chorus of complaining and whining begins anew.

Somehow, we entertain them until the parade begins as well as the disobedience. We ask them to sit down so that others can see. “You may sit by us or sit on the curb.” This is followed by a lot of up and down and wiggling around. We ask them again, a little less patiently, to sit down. This is followed by more up, down, wiggling around and some running away with us chasing behind. We begin speaking ever more loudly and less patiently, and that’s giving us the benefit of the doubt.

At some point in the midst of all of this, I always find myself asking, “Why do we put ourselves through this? I know that it’s going to be tiresome and frustrating to manage two young children in this environment. So, why do we still choose to do this?”

Then, the answer comes to me. I remember going to the Tulip Festival as a kid. I can’t seem to recall any negative memories from those times. I’m sure that I whined and complained and disobeyed, but my parents still took me. I have only good memories of family fun.

That’s why I do it. I want my kids to have good memories of family fun. I know that when they are older, they won’t remember that they didn’t get to have as many rides and snacks as they wanted. They will remember the four of us having fun as a family. That’s what I want. Kids who grow up with good memories of family just like me.

Sherri

Power Ballads

benjamin — Mon, 10 May 2010 01:49:52 +0000

Today is Mother’s Day. First off, to all of you moms and grandmother’s out there, thank you. Thank you for being the amazing blessing that you are. I pray that God blesses you in a special way today through the actions of your family and friends.

Conveying gratitude on this subject is like trying to ask a lowly kazoo to recreate a full orchestra: words just simply do not go deep enough. How do you put into action this rawest of emotions that you feel for the one who nurtured us as we struggled to find our way? God showed us the ultimate definition of love through a weekend that involved involved a cross, thorns, nails, blood, and a spear. His ultimate sacrifice gives us hope for the future. But it was only through actions that he could express that love.

Think about the first time you held your child. Did you craft some eloquent prose about the moment? Not me; I cried and sobbed and held my beautiful daughter as close as possible. My actions, coupled with the words that I muttered, became my symphony.

Some may be wondering why I entitled my post Power Ballads. On Cinderella’s 1994 album "Still Climbing", there is a song called, "Hard to Find the Words." The song works hard to capture the relationship between a boy and his mom, recognizing that there were good times, bad times, times when they did not see eye to eye. But through it all, the thing that remained constant was love. Sounds familiar.

The last line of the chorus is this," Thank you for the love, mama. It’s what made this boy a man." I couldn’t put it any better.

Happy Mother’s Day!

A Crown of Joy

heather — Mon, 03 May 2010 18:21:39 +0000

During our adoption process, I often prayed through scripture for attributes I needed to survive the wait. A few examples of this are:

- a garment of praise (inspired by Isaiah 61:3)

- wisdom & patience (inspired by Proverbs 19:11)

- faithfulness to my Master (inspired by Genesis 24)

God was and is gracious enough to answer me in my distress. I remember one day praying for the "garment of praise” and soon finding myself physically cloaked in inexplicable praise during a particularly difficult event. For days I requested this garment of praise and could feel a very comfortable weightiness around my shoulders and a desire to just proclaim His glory when, by the world’s standards, it would have made a lot more sense to blaspheme His name.

Last week Thursday and Friday I had the great privilege of attending the Christian Alliance for Orphans national conference, Summit VI, in Minneapolis with Katelyn’s Fund co-founder Sheila De Jong and two board members, Tammy Zevenbergen and Wayne Vermeer. To say that the conference was inspiring is putting it lightly! I came away with my cup of joy and hope absolutely overflowing and was (and am) eager to share all I’ve learned with anyone who asks (beware, by the way — my sweet friend Becca patiently listened to 40 minutes of blathering on about Summit VI this morning by yours truly). J

Familiar with the enemy’s ways, I found myself very protective of my newfound joy when I returned home. I turned to scripture and found the exact attribute that I need right now: a crown of joy, inspired by Isaiah 35:10. My crown of joy has already snagged on others’ indifference. It took a little ding from conflicting opinions. And it teetered hazardously on my head when I found my 4 children screaming at each other over rules of a game yesterday! But I pray the Lord sustains me through the testing of my faith and that I am able to wear this crown of joy (true & unadulterated joy growing out of His deep love for the orphan!) for a long, long time.

Do you need a “crown of joy” today? Pray that God will bless you in this way, and enjoy the life-altering effects of true joy in your life. More Summit VI details will be coming in the weeks ahead!

Heather